This is what I woke up to today. It’s everywhere. All over facebook, twitter, tumblr… whatever social networking you are on. There are rainbows EVERYWHERE. And I freaking LOVE it!!
Now, before I get too carried away, allow me to clarify myself. I am straight. I have always been so. But I am also an ally to those in the LGBTQ community. I am beyond thrilled that today, in an historic move, the Supreme Court of the United States voted that banning gay marriage was unconstitutional. Which means, that marriage for those who are LGBTQ is legal in all 50 states. WOOHOO!
However, some people are not rejoicing in this news and it makes me kind of sad. Seriously. Why is it such a big deal if someone wants to get married to another person who is the same gender? How does that honestly impact your life in any real way? Gay marriage is NOT going to destroy the sanctity of marriage. In fact, it might solidify it more. In truth, marriage it not really treated as a sacred thing these days. When you think about it, you take these vows – to love, honor and cherish, through good and bad, rich or poor, sickness and health – and very, very few people take them seriously. You take a vow of fidelity, to stay true to your partner and not sneaking around to cheat on your spouse. Or hell, not even sneaking, just plain ole’ cheating! I know a man who is on his 3rd marriage (granted his first 2 marriages lasted for 20 years each, but his cheating ways were what caused those 2 divorces), and we’re already taking bets as to when divorce #3 happens. It’s kind of sad, because we know this man pretty well, and we can already see him getting caught in little lies here and there. And some stupid ones, too. Like telling his then fiance that my boyfriend and I were married, then calling me to ask when we got married. It was kind of confusing because I was like “Um, we’re not married. We’ve never been married – to anyone!” He was like “Yes you guys did get married! It was a few years ago!” My reply was “Well, we were supposed to get married before Finn was born, but if I recall, you talked him out of it!” It was a stupid lie, and I just don’t understand it. I guess it was to try and show new wife to be that his family was a good, solid, Christian family. Ummm. No. For one, I’m pagan and proud of it, and for two, he’s probably one of the worst Christians I’ve ever met. Fake. So sad. But sooner or later, the new wife will figure it out and she’ll leave too. I wouldn’t blame her a single bit. Even if she annoys me with her ultra conservative thoughts and ideals. She’s still reasonably nice. I’m not sure she knows I’m pagan yet… it hasn’t really come up in conversation, so I just let it be.
Anyway, so today marks a great day in US history, as the day the supreme court said that no longer would we treat gays and lesbians or anyone else as second class citizens. Years from now, people will look back and wonder what all the fuss was about. They will look back like we do now, when we see pictures and video clips and learn the history of the civil rights movement, and wonder why people were so stupid. Back when my father was a child, it was against the law for a black person to marry a white person. Which is stupid. When my grandmother was a young child, women were just barely given the right to vote. Who knows what sort of thing will get people all hot and bothered in the future? The times they are a-changing. I think we’re finally taking steps in the right direction.
Today is a day that validates the young men and women who are growing up now, who are just coming into the knowledge of who they are and want to be, who realize their sexuality isn’t the “norm” and don’t have to be as afraid that society will shun them. There will always be bigots out there. There will always be the few who still cry up in outrage, and sadly there will still be parents who reject their children over this. This is the time that we can gather those children up, hug them tight and say “WE still love you for you!” and heal the damaged hearts and minds of the wounded souls who just want to follow their hearts.
My son has a friend, they’ve been friends for ages now, and we call that boy “other son” (we have a lot of “other sons” really) because he’s become practically family. He called us up not long ago and pushing aside fear of rejection, bravely came out to us. The genuine, true blue fear that he would be rejected and ridiculed for his sexual orientation was there. My son’s reaction? “Cool dude. So you wanna go on xbox live or what?” My reaction were feelings of joy and pride for them both. For my son to accept him, and for other son for being so brave. We still love him to pieces and honestly I want to meet his boyfriend, whom I’ve heard nothing but good things about (he has to pass the other mom test, lol).
We can rejoice because today, we are all a little more equal. It’s a good thing.
I’m 34 years old. I’ve been with the same man for 18 years, he was my first. We’ve had a couple breakups here and there (jeez guys, we were 16 when we got together!) but we always wind up back together again. For a lot of reasons, too. Mostly, it’s like we’re two magnets who can’t help but be pulled to one another. I love him, and he loves me. We’ve never been married, and to tell you the truth, I don’t think we ever will, no matter how much I want the pretty dress and the gathering of my friends to witness a life-long commitment. He doesn’t (I think he’s afraid of it). We have three beautiful children together, and we’re mostly happy. Because we’re a heterosexual couple, we’ve always had the right to marry. But my gay friends who have been in relationships just as long as I have, didn’t have that right, no matter what state they reside in, until today. So I will rejoice with them.
Of course there are still things that will squick me out… but those are things that transcend gender and sexuality. I firmly believe that you should NOT be making out or pawing all over one another in public – regardless who you are with. I don’t want to see a woman practically devouring a man’s face in public, and I don’t want to see man devouring another man’s face either. I think that sort of thing is best left for privacy. But that’s just me. I’m not an exhibitionist. I also don’t like seeing skimpy clothing on ladies either. Why? It’s not a matter of slut shaming or anything like that, and I think a woman should wear what makes her comfortable. Just not at the expense of my 7 year old asking why that girl’s hoo-haw is showing. Seriously, girls, your shorts should have an inseam that is more than 1 inch. I don’t want to see your butt cheeks, and I don’t want to see your lady bits. Men, pull up your fucking pants! If I want to look at a man’s underwear, I will happily look at my boyfriend’s underpants. Yeesh. But that is not the point of this blog post. One thing at a time, I guess.
So yeah, I am happy today. The sun is shining brightly (it’s hotter than Hades out there, I swear), my kids aren’t trying to kill one another and I got me a nice cold glass of Pepsi sitting next to me. Today is a GOOD day! To my friends and those who are like family in the LGBTQ community, congratulations you guys!! I fucking love you and I celebrate this victory with you!